Asking the right question

I have been teaching secondary students for almost 9 years now. I would say teaching young children need a different approach and need to be more creative. I learnt a lot from my wife. When my kids at 4 to 5 years old, they always try to object or go against parent's decision or suggestion. When we ask them to sit, they will run, when i ask them to be silence, they will laugh loudly. Yes, they will try to be creative.


So, one day i heard my wife asking my son. " So, later, do you want me to add some onion leaves on the soup or not? " ( normally we will add a few pieces of onion leaves to make the soup more delicious ). Then, i came to realized that, we should always ask the right question to our kids to prevent them to go against our suggestion.

Why i said so? Just imagine these. Let say my wife ask, " Zhe Tse, do you want to drink soup or not?" Then, my son will replied, " No , mummy " ( going against the suggestion and he only has 2 choices, yes or no ). Of course, the issue about the onion leaves will stop immediately. Then, my wife will need to advice and encourage him to drink soup and explain the reason and bla bla bla. It might be successful or my son might be holding his decision. You see? That's why, for those parents, before we want our children to do something, we should think of the right question for them to follow, at least we have 90% of successful rate. It doesn't mean we want to stop their creativity but i believe there are plenty other ways to enhance creativity.

   

Every Parents Are Natural Teachers, agree?

Long time ago, i asked one of my friend, " Do you like to become a teacher?" , and she replied, " No, i don't like to teach, no patient !".  Yes, she was right. Today's teachers are not like yesterday's. It required not only commitment and patient, but creative and innovative. With the advancement of technology from time to time, it created a lot of influences. One of it is the social networking which had a lot of impact to the youngster nowadays, including myself.

And few weeks ago, i asked my same friend again. "Now you have your kids, do you teach them everyday?" And she said, " Of course lah. If i don't teach, who else? Bo Pian !!!! ( no choice )." Yes, she is right again. Being a teacher, we need a lot of patient but teaching our own children, we need even more patient, commitment and sacrifice. Even if we need to repeat the same advice everyday, we should do so because they are our children. We need to guide them to follow the right track. That's the SPIRIT of being a parent. Being parents, we need more creative idea to educate our children. Honestly, i learnt a lot from my wife. She is the one who always come out with creative idea to satisfy and educate our children. Really thankful to my wife.

Baby Diapers Vs "Lampin", Which one is better?

Long time ago, especially during my papa mama time, using disposal diapers was not a trend. Perhaps too expensive. Most parents, including mine, normally will use a type of cloth ( we called "lampin" in Malaysia ) for babies. So, in our neighborhood,  if we see a lot of "lampin" were hanging outside under the hot sun, meaning to say that, the family just have a new born baby. Why? because we need to wash it almost everyday.

There are a lot of benefits using "lampin" rather than disposal diapers such as, save some money, easily dry up, comfortable for baby and etc...But only one thing my wife and I cannot stand was, we need to change a lot  "lampin" which might disturb their sleep, including the parents.Well, drinking milk in the mid-night is already a tough, and yet, we still need to change the "lampin". As you know, baby cried in the middle of the night only for 2 reasons. One is for milk and another is to tell us " Papa mama, is wet wet now, please change for me now, if not , i cannot sleep...hehehe !!!"

So, after some discussion and research, we found a solution, although was not the best but it really loosen our job a bit. USE disposal diapers !! In supermarket nowadays, there are too many brands of diapers for us to choose. Some are good in quality ( expensive ) and some are not so good. In order to cut some washing, we decided to buy 2 types of diapers. One is the expensive ( good quality, can last longer ) to be used at night, and another one is the average one ( can be used during afternoon sleep ).

Yes, with this solution, the baby can sleep longer now and the parents can get more rest. And during night time, we only need to make milk when they are hungry, except bowels ( pang sai ). From that moment, we have been practising these method and it really work. How about you all? Have you tried these method? Or do you have any comment or suggestions?

What is the first thing you must do when your baby is born ?

Let me share a story with you, true story.  When my first child was born, the first sickness he got is pro-long jaundice. What? Pro-Long? Yes, due to umbilical cord infection. Normally jaundice will only occur for 5 to 10 days depends on the individual. Later, after 4 months, my son got pneumonia. Due to my staying place was in rural area, i have no choice but to send him to a specialist which is very far from my house ( long story, will share next time ) . And thank god, everything was fine, but one thing which worried my wife and I was "finance". Seeing a specialist nowadays will cause a lot, especially in Malaysia.  

After we realized about it, quickly we bought insurance with medical card. Well, i am not trying to promote any insurance company, but i would advice all young parents to consider to find a package that suit our needs. During my time, buying insurance was not a trend and not as popular as in the western country. And even worst compared to my father's time. So, after few months we bought the medical card, my son was in emergency again. This time, is like "PHEWWWWW" , we paid everything using our medical card. It really save us a lot.

Most of the time, we can't really predict what will happen to our child. But normally baby or infant are easily to get infected with all kind of virus or bacteria. That's why, it will be good if we can have a medical card for them. At least we can provide the best medical care, and most importantly , affordable. Perhaps some of you might say, " Don't worry, we can send to government hospital." "WHAT, government hospital?" Well, i think everyone knows, i don't need to comment much about it, right? So, hopefully we can always make a right choice for our beloved children. For those who are expecting, is the time to find the right package ! Good day .....

   

Showing Your Love

When i was a child, i used to be very demanding. I always wanted my father to buy me toys. I still can remember, my favourite toys was LEGO. I love playing with LEGO, even till today because i can build anything i want. It is a tool to build children's creativity. Whenever we went for shopping in supermarket, i will look for this toy. I will stand there and look at the toy till my parent come to pull me home.

For those who are from Teluk Intan, do you remember Sungei Perak? or Rakyat superstore? Oh yes, my favourite place. One of the strategy i used to ask my father to buy LEGO ( for your info, it was not a cheap at that time ), was to stand there and cry out loud and i will not move my feet even when my parents were pulling me. And my favourite LEGO was castle, with palace, horses, soldiers and so on. Guess what, my success rate was 95% !!! At that time, i know my parents love me, perhaps i am the youngest, that's why i dare to try.

As for now, i am the parents. I always ask myself, " Should I buy a lot of toys for my kids to show my love?" Can we consider loving our children by giving all the things they want? Do they really need toys to make them happy? After being parents myself for almost 6 years now, i would say that the real love does not lie on the toys. It depends on the quality time and quantity time we spend with them. The feeling of love doesn't come from toys, but come from our heart. No matter how many toys we are going to buy for them, it will not increase or improve the feeling of love. Thus, I hope that all the young parents will think carefully before investing so much money on toys.

Question: How to avoid buying too many toys for the kids? I will share with you all later. Happy parenting !!!

Why my baby always cry ?

Yes, baby always cry. In 2004, when my son was just came into this world, the very first thing i cannot TAHAN (stand ) was baby "CRYING". And of course, i really don't know what to do most of the time. Though we were very happy to have our first child, and for the first time, my wife and I became mother and father. But, very soon, we faced the biggest challenge in our life ( during that time ), the CRYING issue.

After some hand-on experiences, we finally found that, the baby do not simply cry. They cried for reasons. They are 6  reasons why my baby cry ( maybe more for other baby ):

1. Hungry
2. Urinate / Pass motion
3. Sleepy
4. Sick ( fever/ flu/ pain/ etc )
5. Boring
6. Undetected

How do i know? Good question. I really don't know but through trial and error. Nobody tell us in fact. One thing i must praise my wife, she really can differentiate the types of cry my baby performed for different reasons. Maybe this is the special skill that only woman have. Honestly, till the last day before my kid can talk, when they were crying, the only thing i will do is check the diapers......" pai seh" ( shame shame ).
However, my son is already 6 and my daughter is 5....they still like to cry. WHY? I will share with you next time.

           

My Queen is needed

Well, after i declared myself as a KING, a family can't do away without a queen. Although most of the decision is made by the father but in certain aspect, where things that a Father always ignore and can't perform, it must be handled with care. The most important things that father will always missed out is HEALTH. Not only children health but own health. I must admit that lady is more detail and more dedicated in looking after the health of everyone in the family. In fact, she did a good job.

A Queen will always perform a softer approach to the kids, perhaps to balance up. Most of the time, King will need to be firm and be strict with the kids. Thus, a Queen is strongly needed to console and give "mother care" to the children ( might be misused as pampering, be careful ) . As for me, i would like to thank my beloved wife ( ahmin ) who have been taking care of the health of everybody in my family,you really did well. I Love YOU.

If i said children are pretty well with role play, my wife and I have been practicing from the beginning. My role is a King and my wife's role is a Queen. And it have been well organised instead. Perhaps our children  inherited "role play" from us..... ^ ^

After the King and Queen were appointed, what next? In my next post, i will share about how my son became Prince and my daughter became a Princess. Thanks for reading.

Am I the King of my Family ?

Some of you might think that "KING" is a strong word that we shouldn't use to explain what a parent should behave. Why King? And how did i implement this "King" policy?

When my son was roughly 2 years old, something happened. My mother was complaining to me about some kitchen work, my son is demanding by crying out loud and my wife is requesting something from me. Everything just came simultaneously. What should i do? Previously, i always try to let go everything, trying not to get involve. I am a person who don't like to confront with people even with my immediate family. Then, I realised i need do something about it.

I told my mother, dont worry, i will talk to you after solving problems with my kid, now let us prepare for lunch. I told my wife, let me think and consider, i will tell you before sleep ( you know, normally discussion between husband and wife during bedtime is quite good, hehe ). And lastly, with a firm face, i told my son, be quiet and I will not let you have this now as now is eating time. Stop whatever you are doing and prepare for lunch. Wow....seems like suddenly everyone is listening to me and followed what i said.

 From that moment, for the first time i felt like " I am the KING".  Later, whatever problems and issued came in, i will do my best to arrange and decide everything. In fact, my words will be the final say, everyone in my family will follow. In one family, either small or big size, is very important to have only one decision maker. King's policy, perhaps some of you might think that I want to control everything, but is an important to have one person to decide everything. It will create peaceful environment and solve most of the problem. Be firm and confidence with your decision.

( my appology to my wife and mother for using you all as an example...hope you don't mind . for those who know my mother, please don' t tell her...hehe)